21 Aug Flip the script
So, let’s get honest with ourselves. Give this question some real thought. Would you talk to your best friend the way you speak to yourself? I’m guessing that the answer for most of you would be something along the lines of “absolutely not”. For me, it definitely is. So then, why do you speak to yourself in that way? Why do you tell yourself you’ll never run 21kms? Why do you tell yourself you’re not worth a promotion at work? Why do you tell yourself that all the other moms have it all together and you’re really making a mess of things? Why do you tell yourself lies day after day? More importantly, why do you believe them?
One of the questions in the daily journal which I work through each morning and evening asks ‘if you were your own coach, what would you tell yourself as you start this day?’ I must admit that it took some time before I could actually write something in the blank space below. I found it a bit weird to cheer myself on. We do naturally focus on the negative. We talk ourselves down instead of focusing on what we have achieved and can achieve. We focus on the unwashed dishes left in the sink as we head out for work, rather than the healthy breakfast we just cooked for our kids. We focus on the stretch marks and soft tummy skin, rather than appreciating our bodies for growing another human being. We focus on the various mistakes we’ve made in our jobs rather than acknowledging what we’ve learnt and how far we’ve come since we started our careers. We find it so hard to encourage ourselves!
So, I recently started doing something that I saw on Instagram and that makes my husband question my sanity. I write notes of encouragement to myself on some mirrors in our house. Call me mad, but it really helps! Currently the reminder on my bathroom mirror as I brush my teeth in the mornings is “Today will only be as great as you choose for it to be”. For you it might be “you can do this” or “you are enough” or “you are doing great”.
The point is, you need to flip the script. You need to start being aware of how you are speaking to yourself. You need to kill the “can’ts” and “nevers” and “not good enoughs” and fill your script with all the positive vibes you’d share with your friends and your kids and your work team. And if it’s as hard for you to do as it was for me, there’s even more reason why you need to do this! We can’t expect ourselves to believe the encouragement and positive feedback that others are giving us if we can’t even encourage ourselves! We can’t expect others to believe in us if we can’t believe in ourselves. Also, no one is going to do this for you. No one is going to change the voice in your head. It’s on you. It starts with you. So get inside that gorgeous head of yours and rewrite your script.