04 Sep Good enough
“I love you, mommy” are four words that can make you melt like butter inside. They can make your heart feel like it might explode with love. They can make you break down in tears. They can make you feel that everything is right in the world. Best of all, they can remind you that you’re not the terrible monster mom you sometimes think you are. They remind you that you’re good enough.
With a three year old and one year old, life happens at a very fast, chaotic pace and that’s before you throw in all the other things like work and the admin of keeping the cars licensed, making sure there is food in the fridge and dog pellets in the cupboard. Days fly by in the blink of an eye and when the moon and stars are out and the precious little souls are peacefully asleep in their beds (or sometimes in ours), when we have a chance to reflect on the day, we wonder why we lost our temper so quickly about something that really was not all that important or why we weren’t watching when they fell and hurt themselves.
We’re human. That’s why. We put so much pressure on ourselves to be the perfect mom, to provide the best opportunities, to follow all the parenting books to the letter and to make the most nutritious homemade meals. We fill our afternoons rushing from soccer, to swimming to Clamber Club and our weekends become a blur of parties and play dates. We create this out of control tornado of preparation, planning and juggling, thinking we’re doing it all in the best interests of our kids. But are we really? Do we do it for them or to make us feel like we’re doing it all right? Are they learning more, developing faster, healthier, stronger, smarter? They are just kids. They learn from playing in the garden, building sand castles in the sandpit, reading stories and singing nursery rhymes. They learn and develop in every moment they spend time with us.
Store bought mac and cheese for dinner is okay. Honey and cheese on toast for three consecutive days is okay. An afternoon on a picnic blanket in the garden watching the shapes in the clouds, rather than a rush across town to make it to a 30 minute soccer lesson is okay. It’s all okay. Our unconditional love and attention is good enough. We are good enough. Actually, we’re more than good enough. We’re the best. For them.