I will trust you

I will trust you

Patience is not something that comes easily for me. I like to get things done – decide, organise, do.  No fussing around.  I often get frustrated when plans get delayed or changed.  My wonderful husband is quite different.  He is comfortable to wait on decisions until the very last minute once all perspectives have been very carefully considered, discussed in detail and all stones turned over a number of times.  I certainly did not marry this man by accident.  God knew I needed a man like this by my side to teach me this careful consideration, to teach me how necessary patience is.

We are at a place in our life now that requires so much patience, so much reflection, so much trust.  What should we be doing?  Where should we be?  Our decisions need to consider not only ourselves anymore, but also the futures of our two children – their education, their wellbeing and safety.  At the same time, we need to consider our careers and what things are important to us individually and as a family.  How do we make the best decisions to satisfy all these needs and still be content and happy?  Now, more than ever before, God is urging me to wait, to be patient, to seek Him and His guidance.  I have to admit that this is so difficult for me because of my inherent need to decide, organise, do.

At these times, when I’m wrestling with this need to be patient, I look back at the past thirty something years and see how God has always put the plans in place, always rewarded with blessing when I have listened for His guidance and obeyed His word. It is always a reminder that “we know that in all things God works for the good of those who love him, who have been called according to his purpose” (Romans 8:28).

This worry and impatience about what the future holds also tends to steal the joy out of now. When we focus too much on the future, worrying about what we need to be doing to get there, we lose sight of the happy moments that happened today – the unprompted “I love you” from my son to his little sister, the privilege of having grandparents around to give me some free time.

These are the moments I want to focus on, while God sorts out the rest. After all, that is what He wants us to do – surrender the worry and the plans to Him. To trust Him, while we enjoy today.

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